But the most important thing my mother did for me wasn’t all the research and the planning — and it wasn’t even the confidence she had in me. It was the sense that even if I didn’t get in, that that would be okay, too. She didn’t get wrapped up in any particular outcome. We’d just be on to the next adventure.
I remember hearing this line in April \2020 , when I was preparing to finish my degree amid the global pandemic.
As a person who always do her best to get everything right, my attachment to the outcome had the aroma of the dire and uncertainty. Just like anyone else, the unknown was my biggest fear, I always felt the need to be prepared for things, to be prepared for life to always have plans from A until Z and maybe even beyond. It was the need to always be prepared no matter what happen , always have the guards up in cause anything happens.
I’m aware that there are so many people like me, its our human nature always seek the known, we don’t like the uncertainty , we don’t like the puzzling feeling of confusion and fear . We are used to see the sun , and the moon and everything in between because we always strive the clarity. One of the biggest ideas and lessons that I’ve learnt that despite how our nature evoke and seek clarity , we cant always get this.
It is the sense that the our attachment to the outcome has became a coping mechanism , lets take the example of any job interview for any job seeker. We go through the process and do everything we could and after that we wait. I came to a realization that there are many things about life that requires waiting , but sometimes the waiting itself can’t be enough. Our attachment to the outcome and our ideas that there will always an outcome can truly cause us dire and unhappiness. What if we do things without the attachment of any outcome? Consider it an element of surprise. I am aware what I’m stating at the moment sounds like nonsense wording that filled with absurdity and ridiculousness; but despite that, let us imagine this.
What if we do things, and just forget about it?
Sound crazy again right? but what if that was a sense of freedom? freedom of the mind? freedom from the outcome ? what if the outcome should come as it is? our ego mind plays an essential role in our attachment to the outcome , for example if were doing our job perfectly and everything is great and all of the sudden the company decides to resign you, without any warning or signs. Its shocking. It is shocking , but its the sense that why would they do that? I’m the best, I’m smart, I’m …. Ect.
Indeed you are my dear, there is no doubt, but things happens in life. Not everyone or everything will happen according to our attachment to the outcome . Remember that everything you see at the moment , has a relation with your schemata and maybe sometimes the outcome can be beyond your expectations . I believe this is the surprising element , despite how crazy and unreal I sound at the moment.
I highly believe that staying in the moment , living in today instead of tomorrow can truly brings a mind freedom and outcome freedom. We choose to suffer because we are unaware of the outcome, we don’t what is it. Us humans, are used to fear. Fear will always be a part of our lives and this is normal , But in the end of the day. Life will always be unpredictable no matter how much we planned and schemed.
Again, I am not a life coach , nor Psychologist . I’m simply sharing my experience with the aroma of the outcome.
With love, the person who planned life the most , and yet . None of her plans actually happened. Instead , I am in a new life direction that I had no idea about, and the outcome I’ve set for myself , doesn’t exist anymore.
