Cold part 4
She took her pen and paper and started writing , writing about untold pain inside her heart that nobody can understand . She rather let it burn her alone because that’s how she always been. That’s how this little girl was , that’s how she will remain and that’s how I’ll always remain.
She walks into her room and her hair was like a calm death . She opens her room and saw her mirror , and the mirror smiled at her. The mirror told her : “are you going to take my love? Because I’m willing to do everything for you. I will do whatever it takes so you can stay strong , anything to keep your smile and make yourself as the positive person as everybody sees you” while the mirror strated breaking slowly she continues “ Oh you poor little girl , who gives hope and love to everybody and because nobody ever gave her that , she make sure everybody has it?”.
She looked into the mirror and replied : “ but I don’t have another choice other than being strong , I mean it’s always been like this since I was my age, right now. Now I’m watching her all grown up and she needs to let me go “… she sit down and stare at the sky and said “ but I can’t yell … you don’t understand.. I can’t …. I can’t yell , my voice was never heard but her voice was more heard than me…. You don’t understand!!! Nobody hears me , nobody heard me ..but she been heard twice .” while her eyes teared up and her hair started to feel alive . She Sat in front of the mirror and cried , that’s when the moon cried and the rain poured over her house.
All of the sudden she grabbed my hand and said : “ how long you will keep going? How long you will never accept anybody help ? How can you trust his love while he needs to remove a rooted of disappointments of people who didn’t gave the love you always gave?, Ain’t you a heart full of love that always gives but never take , I taught you this, I planted this on you , and you carried it for long”
The little girl looked at the mirror and hugged me , she removed the hair on my face and told me “ your heart is the most beautiful thing on you , and not everyone is able to see beauty . I know you are tired , you are very tired , even I can feel your tired soul in my hand but here’s the thing , I survived to be you. I witnessed all your crying and breakdowns I was the girl who sat on the floor bleeding when her bother beat her up , I was the one who decided she needs to change her life and do whatever it takes to reach you. In the end , I reached you. Be proud of me , you came a long way and it’s not easy being you, I hope he understands. I hope he find hope in the choas that lays in your eyes. I hope he understands how much I did my best to reach you”
she held my hand and kissed it , while she hugged me and looked into my eyes and told me “ make peace with me ،and let me go. I was always your shadow and you were always my light , I was the one who lead to you , I was the broken girl who the world refused to give her love and she decided to build a world of her own and give the love to everybody who felt like her now this world is yours , you need to accept the love that others gives you “.
I replied with a pain in my stomach and shaky hands that is unable to stand still “ is this goodbye? Are you leaving me? “
She looked at me and smiled and said : “ yes , it’s time to move on from me , be braver than me , be Better than me , say yes to life without fears .I allowed you to live there for so long . Be better than me and get out of this fear, I can’t leave it , but you can . I went though all of this for you, and now after you reached you , it’s time for me to go. I’m sorry I wish I have stayed , but staying meaning you will never live. It’s not easy but you will learn to love and accept being loved also. To make this happen , I need to leave”.
She opened the window and disappeared with the moon’s tears . I looked into my mirror and my Mirror looked back at me , and for the first time in years , we are one. And it broke into small pieces and gathered in the sunflower .
